Showing posts with label changes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label changes. Show all posts

Tuesday, 19 May 2015

Contemplating Changes: Picking Up Where I Left Off


I literally woke up like this. Well, minus the glasses, of course. You get the point.

I usually draft my blog entries in a Microsoft Word document. I spend hours or sometimes, days just editing and rewriting my own work. It's pretty stressful. Maybe, that's why I'm so lazy when it comes to blogging. I created this blog with the intention of giving myself some "me-time". I get so absorbed with my activities that I forget to let myself enjoy my free time. In the past, I haven't had much free time. However, now that I have a few months off before I start in college, I have plenty of time to do some blogging...but, I keep finding myself staring at my folder full of drafts, none of them have been published. Some of them were drafted about a year ago and I still haven't finished them. I just feel so uninspired. This is the opposite of what I wanted to feel while blogging. I've been dreaming of creating a blog for many years. Now that I have one, why don't I love it? Anyway, here I am, going totally freestyle on this one. No drafting. Minimal editing, if any. Just pure, unadulterated thoughts and feelings.

My mood hasn't been great these past few months. Being fresh out of high school has left me with a long list of responsibilities to face and changes to make. I've had plenty of new experiences since March. I'm quickly waking up to the reality that I'm running out of excuses to have other people do things for me. I'm beginning to realize that each day that passes must be lived productively. As I observe the people around me, I can't help but feel bad that I'm not progressing as fast as I thought I would. I'm still stuck here, waiting for the world to do something amazing.

I would compare myself to a writer who has a serious case of writer's block. I just don't know how to start the next chapter of the story. Heck, I don't think I've even finished writing the last page of the previous chapter.

As I'm watching the remaining days of May roll by, I feel saddened. I have accomplished so little and I'm getting sick of seeing the same old things. I want to make changes. No big, crazy changes yet. I wouldn't want to overwhelm myself. I just want to take it one step at a time. I know, I know... This is starting to look like an open letter to myself. Whatever. It's not like anyone's viewing my blog at this state, anyway.

Here are some changes I'd like to make:

  • Clean my room and rearrange some stuff
  • De-clutter my storage 
  • Finish reading the books I left because I got bored/interested with some other book 
  • Shake up my exercise routine that has been stagnant for a week
  • Sew some notebook pages together as I do every year
  • Get a haircut and get my pixie cut back in August 
  • Complete my unfinished paintings 
  • Clean up my laptop's contents 
  • Take out the clothes I no longer wear and narrow down my options to those I really do wear
  • If possible, buy some new clothes that I'll actually wear. 
  • Spend less time being unproductive on the internet. 
  • Finish my blog post drafts and get them published. 
  • Revamp this blog. Seriously. 
The last one is at the bottom of my list; but, that doesn't mean it's at the bottom of my priorities. I just want to revamp this blog. Shake things up a bit. Give it a lighter atmosphere. I'm planning on ditching the dark theme. It's getting pretty old. I want something fresh, something light, something colourful, something... Something NEW! I'm thinking watercolour washes, blotches, and random patterns as a background. A couple of dreamcatchers, maybe? [They seem to represent me now. I have a bunch of dreamcatcher stuff.] The header really needs to go. The whole configuration needs to change. I want to start from something bare and work my way up. It will be a blog renovation. I'm still keeping my main theme and blog name, though. [It was really hard to come up with a name!] I just don't want my blog to reflect my somber mood. I want it to uplift me, not make me feel like it reflects the colour of my soul [Hahaha, I'm kidding]. 

Basically, I just want something new. I want change and I'm ready for it. So...wish me luck, I suppose? Until then, this is still the same me, signing off. 










Tuesday, 1 April 2014

My Hair Story: Short-haired and Loving It!

Warning: Photo-heavy post *derp face*


That was me a few hours ago, posing for my laptop's camera with my cat, Maki.

For most of my life, I’ve had long hair. The words “cut” and “trim” were non-existent in my hairstyle dictionary back then. I used to sport braids in a multitude of variations. It was a lot of fun having a head full of hair. I was never really adventurous with hairstyle options when I was younger. During my grade school years, I just let my mother braid it however she wishes and I would always be happy with the end result.
I rocked those pigtail-braids :P Hahaha
In high school, however, I started to change. From having hair that was never actually cut, I suddenly found myself getting my hair styled at a salon. That was my first official haircut. From having hair that reached my hips, I settled for a bust-length cut with side bangs to the right and layers. At that time, I started wearing curlers to sleep so that I would wake up with curly hair which I’d either let loose or tie into a ponytail. 
"I settled for a bust-length cut with side bangs to the right and layers."
Left: Newly cut hair || Right: Curled hair 
After a few months, I got sick of the curlers and I just settled for nothing but plain lugay (let down/let loose) style. On rare occasions, I would have my hair in a braid [which I only wore after I read the Hunger Games because I was inspired by Katniss Everdeen]. I was pretty much doing nothing with my hair again during my Freshman year. That changed again when March came along. I have no idea what compelled me to do it, but I had my hair cut to a simple, single-length bob. How did it feel? Well, at first I was nervous. I mean, I had long hair for most of my life. After the cut itself, I felt incredibly happy. Finally, I tried out something different, something new. During that time, that was the best decision I’ve ever made.

Newly cut hair (Bob) [I was wearing the same shirt :P)
I kept that cut and let it be for another year. By the end of my Sophomore year, I had my hair back to bust-length, so I had it restored to a bob, which I once again had for a long time. Summer vacation on that same year, I found my hairstyle to be rather boring. So, without thinking much about it, I had my hair dyed red [Probably because of my obsession for Gerard Way’s red hair phase]. I had that hair colour for about six months before I had it restored to its original brunette state.

My red hair phase :)
Left: Newly dyed hair || Right: My hair colour in natural light
By the time I was in my Junior year of high school, I had my hair up to past my shoulders [My hair grows fast]. For a few months, I had my hair tied up in an extremely tight, slicked back bun. Reason? I joined the C.O.C.C./C.A.T. organization and it was a requirement for the cadettes to have their hair fixed in that manner. This, however, took its toll on the condition of my hair. The pressure from the tight ‘do, plus the added sun exposure during trainings caused major hair fall. I was left with pretty much 1/3 of the amount of hair I used to have. It wasn’t very pretty. I lived with that problem for a long time, even long after I got removed from the organization [for health reasons]. The state of my hair was utterly depressing. So, I sought out ways to solve the problem.

The damage with my hair was really bad, so, even though my hair grows fast, the amount of lost hair was still not replaced. By November, I decided to have my hair cut again. This time, it was a boy’s cut. Yes, after living with long – medium length hair for most of my life, I finally decided to have it cut short short. It was officially short. And guess what? I was happy! Happier that I have ever been for getting a haircut. It was out of my comfort zone, and yet, it was really enjoyable. I couldn’t stop messing with my hair for at least 2 weeks post-cut. My favourite part was the fact that my bald areas (panot) were no longer visible. I thoroughly enjoyed the style. It did get me into a sticky situation wherein people teased me a lot, called me names like “tomboy”, “lesbian”, and “Miley Cyrus” [Haha]. I didn’t mind. I was happy AND comfortable! I had no problems with it except for the fact that when you have short hair, it is easier to notice hair growth. Within two months, I was already yearning for another cut, but I held back because we still had our prom. Speaking of prom, I was honestly a little worried at first because I didn’t want to look plain during prom. However, my stylist/makeup artist was a genius! [She’s the only one who touches my hair after the first cut. She really knows what’s best for your hair. *Double thumbs up*]

Left: Newly cut hair (boy cut) || My hair 'do during prom
Fast forward to this morning, I went to my usual stylist because I already found the length of my hair bothersome. My scalp was being exposed again because of the length weighing my hair down and I was already able to tie it into a baby ponytail (which I do not like}. So, wearing a beanie, I payed her another visit and told her that I wanted a trim. At first, she was just trimming it. Then, I brought up the idea of having a minor side shave. She said it wasn’t going to work for my hair since the texture is way too fine. I felt saddened, but accepted the fact I couldn’t get a side shave. She then inquired as to why I wanted one. I explained that I wanted to try something else just so that I could have something new again. Upon hearing that, she asked my permission to cut my hair shorter into a pixie cut much like the one Emma Watson had. I hesitated, but agreed. So, there I was, watching hair fall to the floor and onto my lap. Minutes later, I looked into the mirror and mentally said, “Whoa!” It was better than my last cut, in my opinion. I was definitely a lot happier with my current cut. My stylist and mother agreed that it was better than the previous one because this cut doesn’t cover my ear like the other one used to.

I wanted something different, so my stylist took inspiration from the beautiful Emma Watson.
Basically, I love changes. The more spontaneous and drastic, the better. My purpose for sharing my hair story is because I want to let people know that changes can either make or break your look, but they should not be perceived as scary. Just a fun fact, before I had my boy cut, I photoshopped my face onto a girl with that hairstyle just so I could have an idea of how it would look on me. I also photoshopped my hair red before I dyed it in real life. See? Strategy. [Teehee!] It’s all about confidence. You should make changes not to impress other people, rather, to make you feel better about yourself. Happiness is the key to confidence. Even the slightest changes could make the biggest difference to the aura of your personality.

Top: Freshman year class photo || Middle: Sophomore year class photo || Bottom: Junior year class photo


So, there it is. That’s the end of my hair story. For now [lol]. How about you? What changes have you made for yourself?